Conquer your FEARS

"The vehicle that moves you

slowly toward your  destination 

is better than that moving you very 

fast but against your 

destination."

Everyone in life has one or the other reason(s) why they would or would not embark on a certain journey annexing one or the other destinations. Sometimes, everyone moving in your direction is not sharing the same destinations as you. But some walked to or with you not to accompany or assist you get to your destination. But some mostly do so because they could or do not want to toll that path all alone. For the sake of safety and benefit of an accomplice. When such a path is scantly filled with a crowd. The heart beats suspiciously or admonishingly toward whoever joined you on such a journey; although such might not be totally cordial. The most endemic instinctual drive to this is that most do not even trust the person they are travelling with.   

1 John 4:18 (KJV)

18 There is no fear in love; 

but perfect love casteth out fear: 

because fear hath torment. 

He that feareth is not made 

perfect in love.

The reason for me to write to you once again from those literary perspectives that embrace positional positivism and that which equally eschewed redundancy but create an affinity to the proximity of the possibilities of responsibilities that partially or totally depends on your responsiveness. Whatever indulgence a man finds himself in life has to do with his positive or negative responsiveness. Such charismatic affinity which is required to perfectly carry out most needed exemplary and cogent abilities in life are desirably and instinctually deposited within each and every one of us who sees why we should think deeply and inwardly to billow upon the hidden rudiment of our full capacities.

"THERE IS A 

TEACHER 

WITHIN YOU"    

To all readers and faithful across the world, I appreciate you and your entire family, even those cute pets of yours. May the peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ continue to be with us all. There are definitely teachers living within each and every one of us. Teachers are not almost always physically academician alone. Though there are visible (physical) teachers as well as the invisible and then the most superlative teacher which was and will always be invincible. The God Almighty, the beginning and the source of every human and giver of inspirations to all who was ever created.  

But it will be a great disservice If I have volubly written to you concerning failures and I do not intimate you once again on the breeds that accumulate those tiny instinctual grains of wit and whiff that eventually present one as an irredeemable failure. FEARS is that one and great enemy that reduces you below your capacities. Once encased within its abilities, you find your functionalities reduced to virtually non-existing. When fear is allowed in concrete or abstract capacities, it slowed down your capacity and abilities to excel in every little or great thing you set your mind to achieve.     

1 John 4:18-20  (KJV)
18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

There are the visible and the invisible fears, but the good news to all these class(es) of fears are; they are all surmountable. God has created and enabled humans to succeed virtually wherever they have set their mind to succeed. The greatest height of impossibilities lies within the veins of that man whose premises are hugely deposited on the heresy of impossibilities. And the presumption to that is the alibi that had been sought after by the souls and tenet of FEARS!. Mathew: 19:26

Fears as it is, either in the visible or invisible form are reductive, encage, engaging, excruciating and regrettable. The irony of all these is that fear doesn't feel or bear the brunt of any of all these pains. Why!. Because it doesn't really exist in concrete or tactile formations. But its instruments and results are veritable, tactile, tangible and contagious. Fear is absolutely psychological and abstract. So if the fears get at you, the pains boomerang and come back to you.

The moments your heart beats start mitigating and pulsating more than usual, ordinary and necessary. And the voices within you could no longer be clearly heard. Every little or no moves or sounds activates or deactivates you. Then you begin to fumble when you intended to humble. I mean those moments you could no longer decisively moved within your senses. The moments you were not sick but you're visibly trembling, just watch out dear brethren. As the lurking predators (fears) are preparing to reduce you by its calculative moves.

FEARS are not totally fearsome without the indulgence of your senses into the fearful worlds. Once you have allowed fears to radiate and permeate your senses into the below worlds of instinctual subconsciousness. You could barely make a proper and adequate choice or be positively purposeful driving in life. You need courage and firmness, not jelly-like grasp on the clock of time.

And how do you achieve these?. The number of enemies tenaciously working against your progress is fears. Meanwhile, progress is not far away from you but such signs of progress and successes had their routes and paths stuck among the shelves of fears. Would you, as a result, drop the notion of achieving such progress?. The answer is 'NO' Instead, why don't you work and war at defeating your fears?. The moment this is achieved, your purpose begins to radiate.

Peter denied our Lord Jesus Christ due to fear of the known and unknown. (John 18:15-27) The same Peter could not enjoy his reigns for long by having his attempt cut short by the billows of the ocean's currents. (Matthew 14:28-29). Yet, this same Peter could have been the one to betray him unto the enemy but Judas Iscariot did instead. Because our Lord Jesus Christ noticed him (Peter) struggling and wagging serious war against his fear until that is achieved he retained and remain ones of those who continuously battle fears and as such had victory over such. 

Although no one has or has never been afraid at a point in life. But this epistle is here to caution you about losing the precious jewels of life's achievement to fears. It is good to be averagely afraid but that should not be in order to give an undeserved reductive force a hold upon your time and life. Fears should not be given a necessary ambience by you. Hence been totally submerged by the billows and torrents of fears. How do you make a choice, if you were been scared by any and every little challenges or non-challenging happenstance? Some life advantageous decisions need precise and pungent grasp, not a periodical slippery hold. Which is what fears has to over you.

"BUT THE FEARS 

OF FAILURES 
COULD 
ACTUALLY 

BE THE 
BEGINNING 

OF LEARNING"

Excessive fear is one and is all that is intending to stagnate you from achieving those good aims and objectives on time in life. For example; according to the quotation above, why should you be on a vehicle that moves you slowly, when the obvious states that the time is against you?. Although, the best is better than the worst. But why would you rather drive slowly when you could move faster than the present acceleration?. If your calculations were to arrive at your destinations late. Have you considered the prize to the consequences?. And again, why would you rather leave to such a destination too late than necessary?. And why should you drive too fast and fury to the claws of avoidable vital accidents?.

"Every man is a 

principal to his principles".

Sometimes, as humans, we might have developed the ability to kicked against the obvious and deny a most very simple truth. But, how long do you intend to remain under such guise? So many people in life have through and by the means of known and unknown fear loss what could have been and remained a total turning point of their life. Some would later blame A or B even blame Folorunsho Alayo for their predicaments when it was obvious they were clearly the brain behind their deluges of misfortunes. Some are not bold enough to expeditiously analyse and defend a contract that could have change their fortunes forever. Probably the interviewers were throwing bricks and jabs questions from too many angles and the jurors were so uncomplimentary.

But sage and sagacity imply input that you comport and maintain your stand inasmuch as you have done your homework. Why should you be jittery before the gathering of men who are just merely there to ask, listen, analyse and comprehend what you have submitted?. Fear!. Doubt. Questionably figures could have been reasons for these. A result to which some have even lost a supposed life partner that could have been there anytime, every time for the rest of their lives.

In my secondary schools days, lots of drama played out. I wouldn't cheaply succumb or admit that I was fearless. Because I remembered hiding behind the classroom whenever it's time for lecture all because I couldn't afford to pay the school fee. And I wouldn't want to be seen by the year tutor. I almost always sneaked in and out of School. But I was determined to be in school. I guess that was positive fear. Isn't?. But one day, when I finished my morning chores on the street where I lived back then, I took all the dirt to the nearest dump site where I found pairs of shoes, exactly my size. But the laces were not there. According to me, though young yet I have learned to always trust in God. And that same God surely provided laces for my newly found shoes. On that same dumpsite, I found old and torn rubber mat out of which I carefully etched out laces. Voila! My new school shoes.

I digress a bit at these points to plead with all brethren around the globe. Those reliefs materials that are no longer needed by you but could still be useful to others please give it out. To the homeless, Motherless, Orphanage and the aimless. They are all part of our existence. If God has been so graceful in His bountiful mercy. to remember and cater to us and we could afford more and all we have ever needed. There are millions of people out there whose hope of daily income or intake of proper care and ingestion are at the lust and perils of fears. Please in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ help reach out to them all around you. God bless you as you do so in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

A kind of vague fears was partially subdued. Then I was full of confidence, quick and ready for school. On that fateful day, I refused to hide behind the classroom simply I have school sandals, and I believed I was neatly dressed. But the moment I heard the teacher walking down our classroom. I made for my usual hideout but it was too late. The teacher spotted me and the ensued punishment was never a good tale. But when I later found out that the teacher who eventually punished me was not actually coming for inspection or debtors. I wished my fears could be in the physical so that we could both held at each others' jugular and probably go our different ways.

But fear doesn't operate that way. 

David formidable opposition was never King Saul and his entire household (excepting his son Jonathan) alone. But also his brethren from the same loin didn't like him, just like Joseph and his brothers. The fears that could be more intimidating is that of intimacy. Fears of intimacy. The Bible said in

Matthew 10:36 

a man's enemies will be

 the members of his 

own household.'

The fears and battles targetted against the young David didn't instantly start with the king Saul of Israel but with his brothers. (I Samuel 16:1-13)

But remember brethren that all forms of fears are surmountable, the cogency to this is, first of all, identify your fears. Admit such fears. Tolerate it for a while but not forever. Because the fears you do not tolerate for a while deprived you of whatever advantage or disadvantages that such fears might actually portend. Tolerating your fears for a while do not make you a coward but rather a researcher of a sort. Because if you have never experienced it, you cannot taste it, If you have never tasted it. You cannot understand it; and if you do not understand it, you cannot explain it and if you cannot explain it you cannot defend yourself against it. And if you cannot defend yourself against it. You have just submitted yourself to instincts of unnecessarily Lordship; an unwanted boss.

Fears, Friends and Foes just like failures and successe are found and could be seen any and everywhere around us. Even the next unsuspecting occupant(s) of the next-door neighbourhood could be one. Your best friend now could be one within the next few hours ahead. You shouldn't necessarily submit yourself to those mitigating unsavoury fears. Even from those overbearing colleagues aiming to cowed you to a corner and then deployed a professionally laden cheating ideology through which they pummel you to that permanent, begging present and future coordinated subordinations.

Jeremiah 30:8-10 King James Version (KJV)

8 

For it shall come to pass in that day, saith the Lord of hosts, that I will break 

his yoke from off thy neck, and will burst thy bonds, and strangers 

shall no more serve themselves of him:

9 

But they shall serve the Lord their God, 

and David their king, whom I will raise up unto them.

10 

Therefore fear thou not, O my servant Jacob, 

saith the Lord; neither be dismayed, O Israel: for, lo, 

I will save thee from afar, and thy seed from the 

land of their captivity; and Jacob shall return, 

and shall be in rest, and be quiet, 

and none shall make him afraid.  

Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

I can do all things 

through Christ who 
strengthens me. 

Romans 8:31 (KJV)

What shall we then 

say to these things? 

If God be for us, who 

can be against us?

The more and the moments you believed in God and His only begotten Son  (JESUS CHRIST) John 9: 35 - 38 The Holy Spirit is sent and given to be with you and all over everything that needs and has to do with you. So, therefore; you do no longer need be afraid. This is not breeding you to be violent or fanatical but encouraging you to be bold and principled. But I don't actually see anything wrong if you were violence against any intimidating or incriminating fears that sort to temporary or permanently pushed you into submissive modes which are totally against your preferred principles.

The mighty lion was 
once ashamed of his strength
the moment he realized that 
the tiny Tse-tse fly is his 
neighbour, which he 
cannot Conquer. 

That is an epitome of strength as relating to realities of existentialism. Fears will always be testing your wit and abilities. As you can see the lion cannot hunt the flies, though he would have loved to, he just couldn't. Now by assumption, if the flies were happened to be an antelope or a buffalo. The case and the scenario would have been a totally different one. As the king of the jungle would have unleashed the seizing grips of his razor-like claws and canine upon such. And his canine engaged to the jugular of such prey ready to pull and rent apart. But as for the lucky you; that fear can no longer reduce you, the moments you have made up your mind not to tolerate that fearful habits that refuse to respect or abide by your principles. Your principles are attitudinal guidelines and more on your personality.

Matthew 10:28 (KJV)

And fear not them which kill 

the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 5:48  (NKJV)

Therefore you shall be perfect, 

just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 10:29-32 (NKJV)

29 

Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? 

And not one of them falls to the ground

 apart from your Father’s will. 

30 

But the very hairs of your
head are all numbered. 

31 

Do not fear therefore; you are of 

more value than many sparrows.

Confess Christ Before Men

32 

“Therefore whoever confesses Me 

before men, him I will also confess 

before My Father who is in heaven.

Fears are robbing you of great feats and achievements in life. So many of us had lost or missed the one that could have walked us down the aisle with a promising future and forever blissfulness. Fears are so intimidating that if cares are not taken one will drop the right for the wrong. You just need to be key-attitudes careful when fears approach from many and different angles. With and by all manners of part of speech and terms like; intimidation, scare, afraid, jittery, panic etc.

But I will still implore you not to deter. Some men due to fear have lost good, promising future partner all because they were probably not bold enough to express themselves. Likewise, some young women in their prime. Expression all over the world would rather get a 'yes' or 'no' oral or bodily or better still, written languages. While some could or would be bold enough to resolve everything at the temerity of non-violent physical confrontation. Why should you die inside and so silently?. Renounce those fears lucking within the realms of your instinct. Make your yes a yes; and do not wary to give a 'No' where and when the situations on the ground require.

Why hiding your real and true beautiful identities under a fake life due to fear and intimidation?.
Even against that, bullying colleagues stood your ground although, not physically, but let such whoever he/she understands that you are human with precedence, prudence principles and would be loved to be seen, treated and regarded as one. But before you do that, be sure you are defending a just course.

"ORIGINAL IS THE 

INSTITUTIONS 

UPON WHICH FAKE 

WAS FOUNDED"

Some would be belittling themselves due to fear of the known and unknown. If you continue under such guise, when will you be ready to live to your real identity?. Do no longer allow yourself to be continuously intimidated. Stand for what you are. Defend and boldly proclaim those good and positive identities which is what and whom you would be love to be known for. You are not created nor meant to live the life that is not befitting your tenet or principles. Every person is clearly meant to be and live for a purpose and if you are not living to that purpose which you has carefully clearly underlined for yourself, you'll be living or dancing to the tune of an inferior purpose. Due to the fears which you have refused to scrutinized and so conquer.
Elisha was never the only prophet under Elijah but he was the only one who could tame his fears and did the extraordinary. He could talk the talk, walk the walk, stood so unmitigatedly firm where others would dare not. It was not as if Elisha was not human like the rest of his cohort but he was fully charged to tame and quit his fears when and where others were so scared to tred.

He could see what others did not see. Hear what others did not hear and dare what other would never attempt daring. Fear is never a good accomplice when it comes to achieving one's heart desires and lifetime dreams. You could be seen or regarded as the minute or inconsequential and tiny as the little flea but the spirit that lives in you is never minute or insignificant. Remember the Bible says;

1 John 4:4 (KJV)

Ye are of God,

 little children, and have 

overcome them: because

 greater is he that is in you, 

than he that is in 

the world.

Fears should never be gainfully deployed or permitted to set your limitations. Yes, no doubt there are fears all around in the world but almost always remember that who is in you is the greatest than that who lives in the world. If you apportion a greater chunk of your senses or inner being to that reducing, redundance stagnating fears. How do you confidently forge ahead in life?. Why should you be that who would never be willing to live up to his/her fulfilling dreams as given and engendered by the true you?. You are meant and made an independent being. Freedom is all yours to imply and employ to do great exploit. But if you relapse to surrendering to reducing quietism of fears. How and where and to whom would you be able to fully express the liberty that has been readily deposited within your senses in order to that and whom you were made to be?. Dear brethren, You are freeborn not a slave to anybody even fears.

John 8:36 (KJV) 

If the Son therefore shall 

make you free, ye shall 

be free indeed.

Fears made the tortoise 
retract into its shell;
but such retraction
also rendered it 
motionless.
Does such retraction empower it to exploit?. No. What it needs to keep going are outside. 

Rejoice in the Lord always; 

and again I say, 

Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 

You can please send your prayer request or any 

questions to the contacts below; 

folorunshoalayo@yahoo.com. 
Tel: +234 8033646382, 
+234 8023956872 (WhatsApp) 

God loves cheerful givers: 
Bank acct: Alayo Lateef Folorunsho 
3013041255 (First Bank Nigeria Plc)

Grace and peace be with all brethren all 
over the world for your support, Amen

Remember JESUS CHRIST 

was never sent to condemn 

but to save You.

John 3:17

Folorunsho Alayo

YOUR SPOUSE IS STILL A LEARNER

" Right or wrong, the best way

to pamper your spouse is the same

way his/her Parents or guardians 

has pampered him/her.

Because that is what and how

he/she was raised to embrace.

As a sudden change from this is equal to force and maltreatment but a gradual pull and pushed toward something more better than what he/she was raised with is most welcomed. Because on a first meeting, the generalization of relationship is the beginning of learning. But how many people could adequately key into this?. How do you know or easily learn what and how he/she was treated within his/her previous home?. Sometimes, We (You) judged our spouse(s) by their age and stature, then qualifications and IQ. But the family where they came from also knew all these and still maintained to pamper them. It's not as if those families were gullible or unintelligence. That's their principles, their precept, their way of life; their attitudes accommodation and jurisprudence and you either respect it or stay away from such families if you could not abide by their rules.

Good, caring and God-fearing midwives all over the world paid more monitoring attentive deposition mostly on a first time expectant mothers more than they would have paid on a familiar known second, third or multiples time expectant mothers. And this theses is never in anyway implies that matrons of this noble-godly profession abandon or neglected second, third or multiples time expectant mothers. This is also albeit not a disdainful shy away from the facts that there are some immature, poorly-taught or inefficient learned midwives whose attitudes towards expectant mothers are nothing rated but unthinkable. 

For example, I have seen a midwife who slapped an expectant mother because she thinks she was behaving like kids, shouting all over the place and that was only according to the midwife's claims. Back then I was in my early teen. As young as I was, couldn’t be more than fourteen years or less. But I was happy when I heard other matron rebuking her and eventually sent her out of the delivery room. She was bitter and reported the matter to the most senior person (not too sure about his post) but be sure dear brethren, as young as I was back then I knew midwives and I know their duties within the medical fields. The senior person on duty came and went straight into the delivery room. Inspected things and came out, then he noticed me and told me to go home and called elders from our home that mummy has delivered a bouncing baby girl. Everything happened within the few minutes of the most unbelievable tenets of existentialism.

I looked at the man talking to me very closely. As I was reasoning within my teen mind and brain. Telling myself that this man didn’t know that he was actually talking to a total stranger. Exactly, that was what and whom I thought I was to the family. Because I didn’t know the young woman who has just put to bed, I was just one of those crowd who noticed her on the street, that she was in labour pain. Then I offered to carry her bags to ease her situation. And mind you, that is what I mostly did when I was young, I helped people (mostly unknown to me) with their items of luggage. And by so doing I earned a living for myself. After few or more years with any of such societal surrogate family, either by visiting or hanging around their homes. Just like Oliver Twist. I almost always returned to the street. Praise the Lord!

I was and I am a learner, just like your spouse. The doctor couldn't believe I didn't know the woman. Then he was quick to assumed that I was been stubborn due to what one of the midwives did to the woman. Then I answered in the affirmative. The man, who was referred to by everybody around as doctor, assured me that, he would certainly do something about it when he pleaded and warned me not to tell daddy and I said 'no problem'. But in a shift of suspense-filled drama. I headed toward the delivery room to go talk to the woman so that she could provide an address wherewith I could contact her relatives. The doctor said no to this and asked why I would want to do that. And I told him that I barely know the woman but I believed she lives around here.

Sometimes, everything you believed about your spouse is not your's sincerely genuine. The physiques, the character and the essence of the presence of such might have in one way or the other beclouded your (our) sense to properly analyse what kind of attitudinal expectations or treatments to get from such a spouse. Sometimes, we simplify and oversimplified. Forgetting that, new bride or groom mostly those whose only source of responsive responsibilities are tapped and drawn from within those little experience(s) they've garnished from the family where they are coming from.

Some learn how to relate with others from their schoolmates, or peer group, or age mate and some learn from some-like of their age within the neighbourhood. While some have carefully chosen to care for or cope with others through their siblings, direct or distant relatives. Known or unknown all these attitudes are summed together to make their future home. Whenever their spouse behaved in any of the sorts they've encountered in the past, their brain, mindset retract into the past in order to find out how best to handle the situation. It is common but also rare to see a spouse who contentiously remained submissive while the partner continuously inflicts abusive manners on such person.

But I must at these junctures infused a piece which I believed common among young and old legal and illegal marital entities nowadays. Whenever you noticed that the spouse you're in one way or the other engaged to is that who could go to any length to inflict injuriously on the other at any slightest provocations. Even if such matrimony was adjudged the best at the celebration. Don't hesitate to carry people, the organization even the court of law along. God the creator, didn't predestine you to die at your prime.

Domestic violence does not in any or every way means physical assaults or conflicts alone. Domestic violence comes in diverse presentation and representation. Perhaps, you are one of the types who does not see keeping malice as domestic violence. Dear brethren; keeping malice is one of the greatest domestic abuse/violence, that could ever be among couples. Why should you bring such a person you would not at a time frame talk to, within the matrimony?. Denial of whatever request(s) is a domestic violence. And insistence request(s) at the time when it is obvious that recipient of such request could not cope or strength-really comply is a resort to domestic violence. Whenever you force your spouse to dance to your dictates while he/she visibly could not cope. You are directly or indirectly violating his/her right to the natural tenets of the laws of conformity.  2 Corinthians 6:14

The oversimplified expectations, will in a way to breed an unthinkable disappointment in you and indirectly changing your taste and quests for the forever aspirations of such matrimony. Cases of untimely death abound day in day out. Simply because the couple could or would not peacefully learn from each other. Couples all over the world are both teachers and pupils to one another. The moments' marital consents were merged to live the rest of one's life for the better and for the good (worse). Both should graciously, not intimidatingly learning from each other. As that spouse might just not at every time be who you expected him/her to be.

For example, some spouse complained about their partner(s) has been too demanding. If He/She is truly a 'bone from your bone' there would really be no time or chance for such an excuse or complaint. Instead of that, you will equally be too supplying and God the creator and merger of such union will also be too providing. By so doing, there would be an equilibrium of demand and supply among the twain, because he/she is a bone from your bone, not another bone. So, whatever you do, or do not do, even your mistakes is definitely going to be met or received a most welcoming suiting balm from your spouse. And in so doing, you have directly or indirectly provided an echelon of comfort and peace for your spouse to learn in such an environment that is most conducive for learning.

Unlike me, I could no longer precisely remember how many families I have passed through in the course of my growing up. But I submissively confess to you dear brethren, that of all the families I have ever been through, those of whom I am remembering today for the mutual understanding and, misunderstanding we have ever shared together. Women are my major lead entrance into such homes. That is, after God the creator had chosen my next home, the workability into such homes are deposited into the ambience heart of one woman or the other.

For example, the Okoko family were one of such family. My right leg would have been amputated today. But  'thank God who has never let his chosen ones to be tempted more than we could bear. As a young lad back then, I played football and I got injured. I felt severe pains in that leg, but I continued kicking. At the market area where I was hanging around then, there was no one to talk to, except boys of my age bracket that we moved together then. But miraculously when I slept that night I was relieved. Just as if been touched by an angel.

1 Peter 1:3-6 KJV

3 

Blessed be the God and Father 

of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

which according to his abundant 

mercy hath begotten us again unto

 a lively hope by the resurrection of 

Jesus Christ from the dead,

4.

To an inheritance incorruptible, 

and undefiled, and that fadeth

 not away, reserved in 

heaven for you,

5.

 Who are kept by the power of 

God through faith unto salvation

 ready to be revealed in
the last time.

6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, 

though now for a season, if need be, 

ye are in heaviness through

 manifold temptations:

The following day, I dressed up for school, I was in my year two in Secondary school then. Just like Frederick Douglass; Fighter for Freedom by Langston Hughes. I walked the long distance to School, and the stress of such distance might have aggravated my injured leg, as it becomes so swollen. But I headed toward school and arrived very late. Despite my pains, the gateman would not let me in. Though, I was not the only latecomers.  Initially, I thought that was wickedness. But I later realized all these and the gateman perceived acts of wickedness as "WHEN GOD WINKS: How the Power of Coincidence Guides your Life" by SQUIRE RUSHNELL. As the Woman approached, talked to the gateman almost in a total rebuking stern. At her motherly intervention, all the latecomers were let go. That was the first time she noticed me and my swollen leg. The rest is history.

She took me aside asked about my people, on the school premises she started nursing my wounded leg. After closing hour, she took me to her home, and for the first time in several years, I could scent what an ideal good family home should be. I was given good foods, after some many years of eating junks or nor at all. The man of the house, a pilot by profession also a wonderful man whose office wears tallied with my school uniform. The woman of the house Olatoun Okoko would just remove the shoulders strap and voila!. Here is the readymade shirt to serve as my school uniform. She has done all these in her good epistle of what a teacher and a parent should be. Despite all her goodwills, been a mother and a teacher. She was still a learner.

"Teachers are Parents 

Parents are Teachers So, therefore, 

He/She who taught me what I could 

positively learn from automatically

 becomes my Parents

and Teachers while 

I am still a learner."

Insinuations started pouring in from different quarters, that the man of the house was too slack, gullible and unintelligent. Why relapsing his, manly abilities while the wife under his watch is bringing in a child she had for another man, probably while she was still obtaining her first degree at the university. Then, as results of some and all these incorrect insinuations. The woman could not for the moment be dearly seen by the man of the house. And the man been godly as he was almost bought into such heresy and fallacies. But blessed be the name of God Almighty who stemmed the storms as by His intervention all storms were calmed. 

 Some spouse even in their forty's still relate everything that happened between them and within their newly conjoined matrimonial home to their Parents. While some has easily developed a habit to choose their childhood friend or colleague or ministers of God as confidant over and above their partner (spouse) whom they have trusted theirs forever in betroth. These are all humans and they had their humane tendency to fallibilities. Though, it's not totally wrong to do this, as you are still in the process(es) of learning. But Hannah never did that. She was equally going through a huge perilous time in and within her marriage. She instead goes on her knee and talked to her creator. Bypassing her husband, and the host of her polygamous behemoth entity even the Prophet Eli who was astonished by her solidity of faith. But still, intentionally mistook her for a drunk. Probably the word uttered to her by the prophet Eli would have been;

"How could you walked 

into the temple and still 
not noticed the man of 
God sitting in the temple, 

certainly, you must

 be a drunkard." 

Human's faults.
 Remember Prophet Samuel, Gad and Nathan 
wrote the Books of 1st & 2nd, Samuel and they
won't dare blackmailed a senior Prophet as Eli.  

Even, if marriage is taught at the university. Does every man or woman gained admission or graduated at the same time with the same grade?. Even if they graduated at the same time with the same grade. Do they all come from the same family background or ethnic group?. If your answer to this is 'Yes' which I do not presently see why it should be. Do they all take or make the same decision, at the same time?. Were they all born on the same date, by the same minutes and by the same parents?. If your spouse is that who is deeply rooted in his/her family or ethnic cultures and right of ways; and you are coming from a totally different ethnic or family background.  Dear yours' in His vineyard, you are a Learner.

Marriage is borderless. Marrying into another family presents or showcased you in a period to learn one or two things in and about the family. Your new spouse and his/her immediate or extended family and relatives. Probably their cultures, language and ways of life. From the onset, you might have not considered this or something of the sort as a loophole that needed to be primarily and pretty well plucked as a cogent sustainability for such matrimony. What is considered as irrelevant from the family you are coming from, might be the most importance upon which/whose altar the efficacy of your new family earns dependence.

Marriage is another learning institution upon which no man has ever graduated with a distinction. Every man or woman within any and every matrimony are still learning in one way or the other. If you think you are perfect in one way, there are many other unsuspected ways whereby your imperfection could easily be upgraded and noticed. Everyone within marital affinities must learn to respect and accord a certain pedigree of humility, submission and caution to the partner involved. It is never enough excuse to dissolved a union because of a habit which could have been prettily well tolerated if the partner involved is yet to succumb to your witty chases of a perceived known of an unknown entity.

Consider the facts that the partner(s) involved might still be learning to understands some certain sides to your likes and dislikes. He/She might have acted in the best interest whereupon he/she thought it is the most sagacious ways of handling whatever the present situations might be. For example, a nursing spouse, mostly the first timer, need not be rushed to do anything at the moment. That woman you're seeing in there is never presented the same woman you married in the recent or many years ago. And by this, I mean her psychology, biological facilities has just gone through a lot. She needs to recuperate, rejuvenile and revitalized. Generally, women, pregnant or not, nursing or not young or old, dead or alive deserves all, any and every respects available. They are our Mothers, sister and wives and many more.

Admittedly; some spouse might be a chameleon in nature, hard to please or understand. Despite that, if you have chosen such as your spouse, there should be enough cogency to persevere in a bit of properly understanding the dos and don't of each other. Marriage is a blessing, deciding to uphold such is an addendum upon which everything needed or expected by and within such a matrimonial is easily gotten and there could have been something or nothing of the sort as in looking back to regret thereafter. But couples also need to devote their time to reading the word of God and spending quality time to pray. If a situation is more than what could be humanly curtailed please dear brethren resort to fasting and prayers. (Mathew 17:21)

"No matrimony is totally 

the best neither is there

 any which is abysmally 

the worst. Until there's 

one to relay comparison"

Dear men, please endure with me as I am definitely going to consecrate and concentrate the next few paragraphs to women and their perceived deserved eulogy.

WOMEN are the source of joy, comfort and the best nature-biological affinity any man should/could be proud of.  They are meant to be nurtured, catered for, pampered and properly mentored. Even God the creator pampered women. He preserved and reserved them not to feel the heat and brunt of the garden of Eden. The woman, Eve was preserved while Adam had already been constituted to received orderliness. A woman is never meant to be maltreated, nor be bully or be made victims of annihilation at whose expense nauseatic political, family or societal scores are settled.

Women should not be restricted to the kitchen alone. Inasmuch as you are not raising all the children born into the family as a future chef or kitchen assistance. Although, I do not have the right to dictate to any families on what they want their children to be in the future. I can only suggest as a brethren. Besides, there is nothing absolutely wrong if there are all sorts of careers from your family. So the woman of such family should be permitted or given a free hand to reign within such home. As kids learn firstly, mostly and majorly from women more than men. Most men could come in when such kids have attained and could maintain steady consciousness. Women tend to persevere the more and for the worse or for the better when it comes to child's rearing and upbringing.

The Bible said He who has found a wife (a woman) has received favour from the Lord. Why should that be?. What kind of favour does that who found a woman received from the Lord?. Meanwhile, the kind of favour stated in the Bible is meant for those truly married to the bone from their bone and flesh from their flesh. Esau grieved his Parents by marrying from the wrong family and the women in his life were thorns on the flesh of his family members. These and many more be the derived laxity why some would lay claims on not been able to enjoy or endure their matrimony. Every man or woman out there is certainly not meant to learn from you.



Laban had known from the first day Jacob had started serving him for Rachael that he was definitely not going to give Rachael's hand in marriage before Leah. But he didn't tell Jacob anything about this. Probably he was hoping that before the seven years elapsed some other suitor would've come for Leah's hand in marriage. In the eventuality that no one comes for her before, during and after the completed fixed seven years, the next reasonable action to be taken is given her (Leah) to Jacob instead of given Rachael which is younger and the intended wages Jacob was serving for.

Leah, Rachael, Laban and his entire household were fully aware of their family rules and principles that the younger shall never be betrothed before the eldest. Even Rebecca Jacob's mother was aware. Despite all these assurances of family laws and principles, they were all optimistic of the un-assured assurances. That seven year is still a long year to come definitely before the years were completed someone would have come for Leah's hands in marriage the un-established facts to which they were all learners. But instead of Rachael been given, Leah was given.

Yes. It is true that Christ has redeemed us. But dear brethren, do not trivialize with such redemptions. Do note that your spouse faithfulness might definitely not be as fixative as yours. And do not be deceived by thinking you could easily connive or convinced that your spouse will cheaply drop some certain habit or household practices. Rachael is still a learner, despite all what Jacob has revealed and told her concerning the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. She would never bulge as she still decided to take her family household gods (teraphims) along with her into her new matrimonial home. Genesis 31:19.  Even, after more than twenty years, Rachael was still a learner in her new matrimonial home.

Galatians 3:11-14 King James Version (KJV)

11 But that no man is justified by the law in 

the sight of God, it is evident: for, 

The just shall live by faith.

12 

And the law is not of faith: but, 

The man that doeth them shall live in them.

13

 Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, 

being made a curse for us: for it is written, 

Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:

14 

That the blessing of Abraham might come 

on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we 

might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith. 

There are couples who failed to note that for some certain habits their spouse is definitely still a learner. For example; some families do have a specific way of handling their toothpaste. I have lived with some of them in the past. You dare not press the toothpaste from the middle, according to the family hygiene rules, you must press from the base of the tube. That's bottom up. Failure to do or remember this has shown me lots of unexpected maladies.

Now imagine your spouse is one of the sorts who was raised within such a must abide hygienical rules and while you were raised from a background where the same paste could be tossed or handled from any and every position. You to him/her or she/he to you in that respect is still a learner. I specifically picked from the minute causes whereby spouses failed to understand the learning newton abilities of their newly betrothed spouse. Likewise, a man/woman raised within a home full of violence would rather try every possible best to escape from such home and that does not in any ways implies that she/he hasn't learned or cooped from the violence that reigned within the home where he/she was coming from.

In his/her or new matrimonial home do not be deceived that such habits will not deliberately or incidentally resurfaced. Every man/woman would definitely want to build a matrimony better than that of where he/she was coming from but the tangles and earnest of yesteryears somehow seem to play a kind of unknown trick on almost everybody involved in one matrimony or the other.

In the past, I have witnessed nursing mothers crying because they were yet to properly learn and understands the language of their newborn babies. They cried to get every needed attention and the mother would try one thing after another to fathom the reason for their cries. Mostly when such babies have been given every necessary daily need. Some babies cried when they woke up when they need their diaper to be changed when they want to eat after they have eaten. Even to fall asleep some babies still cry within their learning abilities.

There was this family whose home I was hanging around in the 90s. Their newborn baby would not stop crying after they've dressed him up for their forty-one days outing. The mother did all sort of things to pacify him to no avail. The woman was scared and sent for the father. She couldn't just understand why the just forty-one days old baby won't stop crying. It was never a good scene to relished upon as the nursing mother also started crying. I rushed out again to hasten the father to please come on time as I could no longer understand what was happening. As I was coming back, I met an elderly woman who asked why I was running up and down. I narrated everything to her. She decided to come with me, immediately she got into the house, she took the baby from her mother. Undressed him, and lo and behold! There was the course. Right there in the baby's diaper. An ant, who as everybody's guessed repeatedly sting the just forty-one days old baby. Who could not express himself other than open his little tiny baby mouth and cry? Because he was just a forty-one days old learner. The Mother and myself also a learner.

Even after so many years of staying together your spouse is still...

Rejoice in the Lord always; 

and again I say, 

Rejoice. Philippians 4:4 

You can please send your prayer request or any 

questions to the contacts below; 

folorunshoalayo@yahoo.com. 
Tel: +234 8033646382, 
+234 8023956872 (WhatsApp) 

God loves cheerful givers: 
Bank acct: Alayo Lateef Folorunsho 
3013041255 (First Bank Nigeria Plc)

Grace and peace be with all brethren all 
over the world for your support, Amen

Remember JESUS CHRIST 

was never sent to condemn 

but to save You.

John 3:17

Folorunsho Alayo